I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
