That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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