he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize