Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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