you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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