listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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