what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
