walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
