He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
