I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize