he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
you had me at cake vodka
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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