Christians are straight up FREAKS
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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