I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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