My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
