i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Please don't give away my fajitas
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
