I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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