You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
