he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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