On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
