All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize