Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
