I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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