we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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