she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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