dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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