Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
the day after is always just damage control
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So much rum. So many feels.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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