At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
