Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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