Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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