Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
