come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
