bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
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