Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
