Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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