If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You know, be my cock's hype man.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize