Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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