Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
