before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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