it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
