God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
