Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
