I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I think I just sharted jello shots
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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