Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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