Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
it wasn't lemon gatorade
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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