Duck Duck Cougar?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
