There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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