My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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