hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
