So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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