I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
