You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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