Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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