Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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