Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
