It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
