i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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