she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
