Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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