I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
