first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
