this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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