she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
