why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
