It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I need moral support for this bender
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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